The Obliterated Bond

"And even when you were dead in transgressions and the uncircumcision of the flesh, he brought you to life along with him, having forgiven us all our transgressions; obliterating the bond against us, with it's legal claims, nailing it to the cross; despoiling the principalities and the powers, he made a public spectacle of them, leading them away in triumph by it." - Colossians 2:13-15

This is one of my favorite Scripture passages, a very powerful description of the triumph of the Cross.

Happy Easter!

Blogging For Another

A couple of weeks ago I received an invitation to be a guest blogger for the Columbus Catholic Women's Conference blog. Truth be told, my only connection to the conference is that we volunteer for the set-up each year.  Except for one person, Michele Faehnle, who is the secretary of the conference, none of the other women would know who I am.  In fact, not a lot of people in the Catholic sphere in Columbus know me so don't let me give you the impression that I'm some hot-shot Catholic in this diocese. I am just a semi-eremetic homeschooling mom with a small corner on Blogspot. And that's what makes this invitation so very humbling.

I have never considered myself a writer.  English not being my first language, I've always been conscious of the grammar police. In my early days of online journaling (circa 2001),  I was very hesitant to even call myself a blogger.  When this invitation initially came to me I laughed... a lot.  It didn't help that my husband didn't seem too impressed LOL because we know who we are, we're the nobody's.  It is part insanity that made me tell Michele I'll pray about it.  I was almost sure about turning it down. Then I talked to that dear friend of mine, Up On The Treehouse.  What she said made sense at the time and I don't even remember most of it now because I was shocked that she thinks I actually have something to say and she knows me well, she knows most of the time I have nothing brilliant to say LOL.  (Grammar police are now after me for that run-on sentence!)

To make a long story short, it is finished! I said yes and have written my first piece. It was easy yet hard to write at the same time. It was hard because I am writing for a wider audience who may have no personal connection to me unlike most of my blog readers (all two of you!). In that sense it was also easy because I can just focus on the message without my ego getting in the way.

So go visit over there and read, http://www.columbuscatholicwomen.com/the-well-trained-tongue/

Even the grammar police is invited but please be kind ;-)

The Last Days of Lent

What seemed to be the longest Lent ever is coming to a close with Holy Week in our midst.  I don't know about you but I am ready for Easter.  I'm not even talking  about a spiritual readiness, I just want out of this metaphysical desert and this never-ending Winter (as we await yet another snowstorm tonight!)

Lent is one of those seasons that I never emerge out of with great success.  Despite the planning and resolve, personal weakness and sometimes God throwing a curve ball leaves me gasping for the breath of Resurrection.  This Lent was somewhat of a struggle for me.  In the middle of a 33-day consecration renewal I had to deal with fatigue from hypothyroidism.  The marathon readings and prayers of the third week was brutal, it played against my already weak mind and an even weaker body.  I had forewarned the Lord that my prayers will be "mindless"  if not rebellious LOL.  There is just no way that in my already weakened physical condition can I still look at my body as worthless food for the worms.  If you have done the deMontfort consecration by Mancipia Press, you know what I'm talking about. 

It is during this time that I realized that our efforts are never in vain.  The Lord rewards perseverance albeit rebellious (with the absence of malice, of course).  He took pity at my meager efforts and allowed me to sail through the "accusatory" readings.  And tomorrow I renew my consecration as my eight-year-old makes his first (he is using Fr. Gaitley's version).  Yippee! Please pray for us.

And this is why I love Lent despite of it all.  The stark contrast of a busy life with the slow, austere, penitential days is humbling.  It's where I can leave all hint of perfectionism and feigned omniscience out the door, where success can only be gauged in the light of eternity.

A blessed Holy Week to all of you.

"We Are Brothers"

There are a lot of people who are a bit dismayed by two Popes (really one is no longer).  As for myself, I think it's pretty cool and a privilege to live in a time where we have two living witnesses to the beauty of Apostolic Succession.  What a privilege to be born to this preserved Faith.

Something about these pictures brought (joyful) tears to my eyes.  Viva Il Papa(s)!

All photos stolen from http://whispersintheloggia.blogspot.com/2013/03/we-are-brothers-two-popes-together.html except for the last one found on Google.

I just had to post this too!....Pope John Paul II and Cardinal Ratzinger later Pope Benedict XVII

Of Derailed Plans: Serviam in Cedo

Happy First Day of Spring! I'm writing this shortly after waking up from a peaceful 12+ hours of slumber.  Yes, you heard that right, 12 hours of sleep! Thanks to a super-low thyroid count my body is in rebellion in a way I only experience during pregnancy.  My days have been spent mostly ensconced on the couch while the world around me continues to swirl with maddening activity.

As I peruse my planner with it's well-laid days of chores and routine, I laugh partly in frustration and partly at the audacity of ambition my then-able body is able to accomplish in a day.  My Spring cleaning list stares back at me with a hint of mockery and that glorious fitness (p90x) worksheet, arghhh, five weeks of hard work all down the drain!

I don't intend to whine-blog about this somewhat miserable existence.  The physical depression is temporary until the thyroid medication catches up with me.  In the meantime my brain is valiantly trying to rise above the lies a depressed body can tell. And lie it does.  As I sit here surrounded by mounting chores barely able to say "yes" to my vocation it is very easy to give in to feelings of inadequacy. So I turn once again to praise, praise to foil the enemy.  Then the Lord brings to my mind these truths: of blessed friendships, the ones who watch my kids, clean my kitchen and call/visit to check up on me, a husband who picks up my slack (and then some), children who are obedient and responsible (if they need to be LOL) and a reminder that sufferings (in my case very temporary) are not without merit.

As these Lenten days come to an end,  I have to be okay with doing less. The Spring cleaning list can hush it's tone of perfection while I try to perfect my soul in submission. Serviam perfected in cedo.

Habemus Papam: Dominican Sisters Edition

This is an awesome video of the Dominican Sisters, Mary Mother of the Eucharist finding out that a new pope is elected. They temporarily abandon recording their music to greet this news with pure joy.  Love.  We are so privileged to have these sisters at our parish school.

First viewed at Creative Minority Report

Pope Francis Jokes With The Cardinals

I saw this at Creative Minority Report.  Too funny.  It's so awesome to see Pope Francis and the cardinals relaxed and laughing.  No, this was not the original audio for those of you who might be confused. Enjoy!

Habemus Papam - A "No" Answer to a Prayer

I meant to write this post last night.  With the frenzy over our new Holy Father, I made the dumb mistake of reading from the pack-of-wolves take on the new papacy leaving my joy in tatters while the muse of writing exited in haste. Mea culpa. To atone for my stupidity I spent the rest of the night and most of today praying especially for my new Holy Father and reading Scripture (the folly of Absalom, good stuff!)

In a previous entry, I indicated that my one prayer was that no pope be elected on the day whilst away from home.  I even threatened to move all my doctors appointments to a latter date.  But not knowing how quickly the election will go, I let that just be an idle threat.  Yesterday was a crazy day with one appointment in the morning, one in the afternoon, an ultrasound and what would have been a fun discussion when the Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door.

A very generous friend watched my children in my house all day so I could freely gallivant across town. At the end of the third scrutiny before I left for my morning appointment, I was pretty confident there wouldn't be a pope at least until today. Isn't God after all on my side? He knows I have to be home jumping up and down with my children when Habemus Papam is declared. Presumption got me nowhere, the Lord said "no" to me as I grit my teeth at the doctors office watching everything unfold via the waiting room television. With my cellphone vibrating in frenzy (thank you to popealarm.com, my children and my husband!) I wanted to walk out of there and just get home to celebrate. But God is merciful. Right as the new Pope was about to speak, the computers froze and they could not check me in (or anyone else for that matter).

says the receptionist in dismay at the tv: "I don't understand the excitement, I'm Catholic and I'm not excited."
me, verklempt: "I'm Catholic and I'm excited and I have a houseful of kids who are currently glued to the tv, I should be home with them!"

*my phone rings, the receptionist gives me permission to answer, thank you dead computer!

oldest child screaming: "Habemus Papam!!! You got your wish!!!!" *more on that later
me, disturbing the office peace: "I know, I know, I can't wait to get home, we'll celebrate when I get home"
receptionist: "Did he just speak to you in Latin?"

And then we started a conversation about big Catholic families, homeschooling, an aspiring polyglot household and how the Catholic Church rocks (can't resist the pun!)  She was quite mortified at her original comment about being an unexcited Catholic.

Miraculously, the computer started working again right before the Pope gave his Urbi et Orbi blessing and then they whisked me away to the longest ultrasound process ever.

keeping count

a broken cellphone that the kids use as an mp3 player, the girl made this wallpaper, very sweet

how the whiteboard looked this morning

*blog entry a comin' on what my child meant when he said "you got your wish"

The Pope of My Children

In case you missed it, the first smoke of the papal conclave is black.  Our supplications to the Holy Spirit and to Mary, Mother of the Church further intensifies. 

As we watched the coverage on EWTN, even on my perch thousands of miles away from Rome the transcendent beauty of the Church brought tears to my eyes and a prayer of thanksgiving for this preserved Faith.  The world can only watch in awe (and maybe some in disdain) as the Church, in it's glorious processions and majestic chants gives witness to Him who is Truth and Beauty.

My children, in particular, were so taken by what was unfolding in front of them.  The oldest kept saying how he's thankful that he's old enough to remember all of these.  The rest were on the look out for their adopted cardinals with a keen interest on the rituals of conclave.  As I thought about this yet unknown pope I am reminded of my own faith especially as a child.  I have very vague memories of Pope John Paul II's election.  We lived in the (Third World) boonies with no television or up-to-the minute access to anything outside my country, let alone my village!  It might have been my sister who went to a Catholic high school who brought home the news to us. When Pope Benedict XVI was elected, I was an adult with children and knew of him and his work as Cardinal Ratzinger.

This generation is much more advanced, more technology-savvy, more information hungry and as such, certainly more impatient.  I expected my children to ask many questions, to want to know "more" or "complain" about the extra omnes.  To my surprise they were very attentive and respected the way the Church does it's thing. I was prepared for it to be another catechetical moment but it was obviously not necessary.  Beauty has a way of communicating Truth in silence.

I'm not reading the mainstream media coverage.  There will always be a divide on the presentation of truth between the secular and the religious so there's no point for me to even reconcile those two.  Curiously, the secrecy of the conclave throws the TMI generation for a loop and yet even they are not demanding transparency.

When I think of the faith of my youth as a cradle Catholic, it doesn't even compare to my children's faith. Theirs is not just out of the cradle but one that is being nurtured into maturity. It is this thought that makes me cry in prayer - that the Lord has given me a vocation/task that I have found myself oftentimes unworthy or unqualified to do.  And yet when I observe the faith of my children I see how grace truly does perfect nature.  My feelings of unworthiness do not matter because in reality, it's not about me, it's about God's grace working in broken vessels.

When we pray for the future pope,  I think about how this is really going to be the pope of my children.  We pray that this new Holy Father is one who is truly holy, who loves the Church as the Body of Christ, who loves the Liturgy, who loves the Blessed Mother and of course, one who loves the young people.

One thing remains for tomorrow....a prayer that no Pope gets voted until I get home from all my doctors appointments! ;-)

Foederis arka, Ora pro nobis!
Ark of the Covenant, pray for us!

*all photos from: http://www.news.va/en

it begins...

oath of fidelity and secrecy

extra omnes - no leaks, no tweets, no facebook status updates

My Papal Picks

On this conclave eve, y'all are absolutely dying to know my choice for Pope, right? My choices are formed mostly by what I've read on the Catholic interwebs.  Other than Cardinals Ranjith and Ouellet, I am not familiar with the works of some of the leading candidates for the papacy.  Here's my list:

1) Cardinal Malcolm Ranjith (Sri Lanka) - he's not among the top contenders but he is my top pick
2) Cardinal Angelo Scola (Italy)
3) Cardinal Peter Erdo (Hungary)
4) Cardinal Ouellet (Canada)

If I had to choose an American it would be Cardinal Dinardo (Houston).  That is a biased choice simply because I've met him personally and was dumbfounded by a homily he delivered at my niece's confirmation (then as Coadjutor Archbishop).

My emotional choice is Cardinal Tagle from the Philippines.

Veni, Creator Spiritus!

Diagnosis: Nuts

Late last week I had the unfortunate fate of visiting an urgent care center only to be transferred to the emergency room down the road.  The culprit for this visit is my continued shortness of breath and on that particular day a nagging pressure on my chest.  Suspecting the reason for this plus an impending visit to the endocrinologist, I was ready to just sit out the discomfort at home.  But my registered nurse of a husband prevailed so we both agreed for me to be seen, at least, in urgent care.  With vital signs not showing anything "exciting" but cautious of things unseen we were referred to the ER.

There is something about hospitals that make well people feel sick and sick people feel even worse.  With my growing discomfort, the ER doc decided it's best for me to stay overnight for observation.  As much as I wanted to be at home it was actually a relief that if something happens through the night at least I will already be in the hospital. My idea of an overnight stay was that if nothing happens through the night I get to go home.  Their idea of an overnight stay was to administer tests with a lifetime of waiting in between.  By the time the results came (all clear, praise the Lord!) a full day had passed and it certainly felt as if I have lost a day of my life.

As kind and nice as the doctors and nurses that saw me it didn't make me dislike hospitals any less.  The particular wing where I stayed had no windows and no natural light coming in. It felt like an asylum.  I've often wondered how people get well in hospitals.  For me the experience was as if joy was being sucked out of my life.  I'm still trying to shake that feeling off even as I've been home for a couple of days.

When we got home my husband noticed the red allergy badge on my wrist with bold black letters reading: NUTS.  It would have been just the perfect diagnosis if I stayed in that hospital any longer.

to give credence to this I am planning to move all my doctor appointments this week if they conflict with the conclave!

My Favorite Weekend Moment

The middle child had his First Communion retreat on Saturday.  My favorite part of this retreat is the church tour.  At the sacristy, the guide showed us the unleavened bread used for consecration.  As she passed around the unconsecrated host the five-year-old commented: "that's the empty one!" Empty indeed.

smarter than a 5th grader, sometimes ;-)

Atheist Penn Jillette schools Piers Morgan on Catholicism

Atheist meets cafeteria Catholic, the atheist actually makes more sense. WOW. Found at http://blog.newadvent.org/2013/03/watch-this-outspoken-atheist-penn.html

Third Week of Lent - Are We There Yet???

As you may remember, I was all pumped up for Lent.  I practiced penances/fasts early, got my ducks all in a row and had that permanent marker ready for another check mark of success on Easter Sunday.  Three weeks later, ugh, Laetare Sunday can't get here soon enough!  When I first entered into this Lenten encounter with Christ (specifically in Scripture) I was full of hope of that coming out of this cloud my face will shine bright like Moses coming down from Mt. Sinai.  Instead I am finding myself in the desert not necessarily parched or hungry but doubting my capacity to say "yes" (everyday) to that perfect will which isn't necessarily mine.  Imagine that, Lent as a humbling season....

Speaking of a will that isn't mine, for those of you wondering about my p90x progress, this is supposed to be week 7. A viral infection on top of a low thyroid count had me stopping (again!)  I'm in recovery, hopefully it won't be too long before I have to do more of those fun (not!) push ups and pull ups.  My plan is to hop right back where I left off if my muscles will still sustain me.

School is going well although slow, par for the course on these long Winter days.  But alas, March is here, it shouldn't be long now til the sunny days of Spring bring us more cheer. In the meantime, more snow in the forecast this week.

First Communion preparation for the middle child is going well.  The boy asked for a missal so he can follow along during Mass.  It was a well-spent $6 (it's a mini-Missal) as he is truly paying more attention to Mass. He also loves the sacrament of penance and is impatient for First Communion day ("why does it have to be in May, that is a long time from now!", says the whiny child)  I love these sacrament years, it is a reminder and encouragement to me that here at home I am casting pearls and giving that which is holy to whom they truly belong. As it says in Scipture : Give not that which is holy to dogs; neither cast your pearls before swine, lest perhaps they trample them under their feet, and turning upon you, they tear you." - Matthew 7:6

The encounter with Christ has me thinking of the carelessness with which I have, in the past, cast the pearl of great price in the name of catechesis/evangelization without prudence or discretion.  But here, at home, with my children, the pearls are kept and cherished with no danger of being trampled upon, at least not in these short days of childhood piety.

Hope your Lenten journey is going well. 

hanging out at the parking lot as we both wonder "are we there yet?"

12/ year - February

Once again, I am joining my dear friend Barb at Praying for Grace for this month's photo diary. Going through the pictures made me see that February wasn't so bad.  Between parties, hikes, learning to dance, cousin's ball games,  women's conference prep we were up and about and had a good month on what is normally the gloomiest month of the Winter.  Enjoy!

we had a birthday

playing soccer - husband vs. kids

Countdown to two parties -Valentine's day and Barb's daughter's birthday and of course, the weather report

baby sneaking off with left-over cookie batter

our homeschool group's Valentine's day party at a bounce place. This is about half of the people who showed up.  This annual party gets bigger and better each year.

the two of us

another mouth-watering creation by the girl

winter hike to combat the February blues

learning to dance - we had a brief tutorial on swing dancing at a friend's house, that was fun!

they spotted a woodpecker

waiting for their Aunt Kate to take them to their cousin's ballgame

helping out at the Catholic Women's Conference - an annual event where the kids help put the goody bags on chairs.

my boy was carted around the conference center on a dolly by another homeschool friend

surprise!  they didn't expect to see each other at the conference prep

baby: "I have big eyes!"

"are you ready for St. Patrick's day?"

St. Patrick's Day colors in the midst of a grey winter and an austere Lent

Happy March!  Spring is almost here...