The Crazy Crying Mama - Sede Vacante Edition

Wow, as I type this we Catholics are officially without a Holy Father.  It's been a busy day running around between doctor appointments so I've not really had the chance to take this all in.  I did, however, cry in my car today.  Coming home from my first doc appointment I caught the radio coverage of the Pope (Emeritus) leaving for Castel Gandolfo.  When St. Peter's church bells rang in all it's glory I just started crying.  And it wasn't one of those dainty tears, it was a full-on sobbing very similar to a hormonal mad woman that I could be :-)   There was just a sense of loss and sadness.  It wasn't very long ago when I was jumping and crying tears of joy at his election.

Remember the Cardinal Ratzinger Fan Club?  I was a devotee of that website for a long time.  Just ask all the family members I annoyed  hahaha.  There's a space on my bookshelf that is dedicated solely to his works (some of them I haven't even read!)  Currently my Spotify is on continuous loop of Palestrina's Tu Es Petrus.

I am officially avoiding the mainstream media this Lent and in particular their coverage of the resignation and the upcoming conclave.  Instead I am devoting my time to reading/studying Scripture and offering everything up for the good of the Church.  The secular world has it out for Christianity specifically Catholicism and frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn ;-)  at least not during Lent. 

going to miss my beloved Papa Emeritus with my pretend sad face, the middle child just had to ruin this photo-op  lol

Adopt-A-Cardinal

On this eve of the Pope Benedict XVI's final day as Pontiff, we are taking a cue from Mrs. Darwin by adopting a cardinal.  The kids are all excited to be saying extra prayers for their adopted cardinal as they ask the Holy Spirit to guide, enlighten and protect them especially during the conclave.  One of them quipped it would be awesome if their adopted cardinal becomes the new Pope.

Here are the kids and their cardinals: the oldest has Cdl. Ouellet from my home country of Canada, the girl has Cdl. Peter Erdo (Hungary), the five-year old has Cdl. Norberto Carrera (Mexico) and middle child has Cdl. George of Chicago.  Adopt yours here - http://adoptacardinal.org/

looking more like a mugshot

that's better

the hubby has Cdl. Giuseppe Betori, I have Cdl. Agostino Vallini , both from Italy

P90x Progress

It's supposed to be the beginning of the 6th week of P90x for me.  Unfortunately, I've been feeling ill the last couple of days (along with the middle child).  It's the busy mama kind of illness where I'm not really bedridden but I'm not fully functioning either.  The congestion is awful and my body is just tired in an almost-sick kind of way, you know what I mean? The extended weekend with President's Day was a blessing, I slept a lot as the family stepped up to pick up my slack.

Anyhow, I originally intended to write a brag entry about my p90x progress so let me proceed ;-)

The end of week 1 was pure pain, as in can't-function- need-anesthesia pain.  Okay, not that bad but the only comfortable resting position was laying on the couch.  This is the nth time I've done p90x (since 2011), dropped out mid-way a couple of times, life interfered, lame excuse but that's my excuse.  Starting over wasn't too bad as I already knew what to expect.  Fitness is 90 percent a mental exercise so I definitely had an advantage.

At the 2nd week I pulled a muscle which had me guarding my knee.  So instead of doing p90x cardio I switched over to Rockin' Body (also a Beachbody product, I bought through a Groupon deal) I'll save talking about Rockin' Body on another post but I will say it was the perfect replacement for p90x's plyometrics and ken-po while recovering from the bothersome knee. By the 3rd week everything was becoming "old" only because I was already looking forward to week 4 (mostly cardio).  This is what week 1-3 of p90x looks like:

Day 1 - Chest & Back- (push ups and pull ups), Ab Ripper X (yawn! lol)
Day 2 - Plyometrics- (lots of jumping, bouncing, hopping)
Day 3 - Shoulders & Arms- (weight lifting and pull ups) , Ab Ripper X
Day 4 - Yoga X- (this is soooo tedious/boring, no one needs to do 1.5 hours of yoga, NO ONE! I have done many years of yoga, I'm a very flexible human being and truth be told, I have "theological" issues with it. Not discussing that anymore than to say that I was a follower of the Iyengar method for years).
Day 5 - Legs & Back (lots of squats, pull ups and weights) , Ab Ripper X
Day 6 - Kenpo X - (kicking, karate/martial arts type moves)
Day 7 - Rest or X Stretch ( of course I rested! the X Stretch dvd hasn't been touched)

By the end of week 3 my clothes were fitting better, there's noticeable all-over sculpting (I would be quitting if that didn't happen in three weeks!), my energy-level was up but my body was also beat up (in a good way).  So when week 4 came along I was so very happy. Since I was still guarding my knee and refuse to do yoga, the only thing I really did from p90x was Core Synergistics (boot camp-style cardio that I love-hate).  This was the week of mostly dancing to Rockin' Body, where I sweated like crazy and noticed the most sculpting (I can't claim weight loss since I don't weigh myself).

Last week was week 5 with a new set of exercises including one hand push-ups (no, still couldn't do that!)  I completed 3 days out of six, got a stomach bug then this congestion/sick-but-not-quite thing happened and I'm officially three days behind! UGH.

If you are expecting me to say that I'm no longer whining about exercise, sorry, still whining. My husband always says "you'll be thankful after".  And he's right, I might be complaining half-way through it all but as soon as the adrenaline kicks in you'd think I lived for fitness! In reality, the picture on the bottom is more my style:

source: http://m.rottenecards.com/card/146215/people-say-waking-up-at-5-in-t

The First Sunday of Lent Progress Report

We're having a fairly satisfactory Lent.  Our fasting from vice is going well but the practice of virtue, well, that's a work in progress.  With limited screen time, the kids have been thriving and surprisingly not getting on each others nerve as much as I thought they would.  Here are some snapshot of the past week:

she has more time to arm knit

Ash Wednesday's Scripture passage, the weather report for that day is on the upper right hand corner

the bookworm on her third reading of this book about St. Catherine Laboure, we can't keep up with her

Love the footnotes on this Confraternity - Douay version of the Bible. For cross-reference I also use the Jerusalem and RSV-CE editions.

The oldest  coloring his Lent calendar. We weren't very successful in dyeing the toothpicks for our crown of thorns but we are successful in staying on track with daily Scripture.

For fasting bread I experimented with this kefir (milk) bread

dense and delicious

 baby checking out the Stations of the Cross

preparing the Stations of the Cross votive

our mantle/altar with the lit votive

no screen time, no problem, more time to read

and more time to give piggy-back rides

Hoping your Lent is going well so far!

I Never Can Say Goodbye

...to the Pope!  We are still in post-resignation announcement melancholy mode over here.  Yesterday we watched the Pope's Ash Wednesday Mass and Papal Audience.  We read his Catechesis and Homily. Today we're reading about the Second Vatican Council as he saw it.  We've also watched (over and over again) these two videos below:

My favorite, Cardinal Arinze's personal account and reflection on the Pope's resignation. His comforting words about the Papacy, Christ and the future of the Church is so very necessary.  Love Cardinal Arinze.

And this one...no words...

And that's how our Ash Wednesday was, no one complained about their sacrifices and we hope it stays that way throughout these 40 days.

On a happier note, Happy Valentine's Day!

A Letter to the Pope

Many years from now we will all reminisce about this bittersweet day as we get asked "where were you when the Pope resigned?" Like so many of you, I will not forget this day. I got up, did my usual morning ritual of praying and reading Scripture (today was about the Israelites grumbling in Marah "what are we to drink?")  My husband got up and showed me a text he received from his brother about the Pope resigning.  I try not to get on the internet before my husband leaves for work but today was an exception to the rule.  We were both dumbstruck, I can't wait for him to get home and hash this all out.

Anyhow, I woke the children with this news.  My oldest was near tears with the second and middle child stunned and wanting to know more.  We tried to have a normal day but we ended up just discussing the papacy and Church history.  I told them that if they wanted to write a letter to the Pope I'd be happy to mail it.  Here's a portion of what the girl wrote with some omitted parts to protect the innocent :-)

Dear Most Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI,

Everyday I pray for you.  I will miss you.  My name is...., I live in....My favorite subject is Art and Music. My favorite sport is volleyball. When I grow up I want to be a cake artist. My favorite saints are Saints Therese of Lisieux and Saint Lucy.  I have 5 brothers but one of them is in heaven.  Please remember young people in your prayers.  I drew you a picture on the back of this letter.  And I forgot to add I can play the piano.

Love,
G   J+M+J

Here is the picture she drew on the back of her letter:

The oldest also wrote a letter but it is unfinished.  I will share with his permission when he is done.

When people enter our home they know a couple of things about us immediately, one of them is that we are staunch Papists.  I love this photo because it's of the Pope and because it was a gift from my mom who passed away shortly after the Pope was elected.

Here's my (ratty) homemade "commemorative" shirt when he was elected Pope, it originally said "the cafeteria is closed"

 

I thank the Lord for blessing us with such a wonderful Pontiff, we will continue to pray for him and now we pray even more for the upcoming conclave.  *A bff called me this morning to tell me she will be in Rome around the time of the conclave!!!  This day isn't so bad after all.

Lenten Planning/Resources: Duc in Altum!

Today's Mass readings are some of my favorites in Scripture. These are stories of hope in the mercy of God who called sinful, frail men to do great things for the kingdom.  I will never be an Isaiah, Paul and Peter in holiness but I definitely resemble them in their least impressive moments of sinfulness and doubt. "Put out into the deep" (duc in altum), the Lord tells Peter, that verse is foremost in my mind today. What an appropriate theme to ponder upon as we enter into this holy season of Lent.

Here are some of our plans/resources for the this year with a few tweaks a long the way, I'm sure:

Prayer : 

• 33- day consecration preparation for the middle child/renewal for me (begins on Feb. 20th)
• Friday Stations of the Cross - new to us this year is this candle votive stations
• Divine Mercy chaplet - we love this devotion so we hope to pray it everyday at 3pm
• Daily Rosary - I particularly love praying this in Latin with Pope John Paul
• Sacrament of Reconciliation 

Fasting:  

• Corporal - those prescribed by the Church on appointed days, no praise music, computer games and *limited screen time.  
• Spiritual - fast from vice and work on a particular virtue 
•  Fasting from Facebook for me.

Almsgiving: not quite 40 bags in 40 days but something similar and we've also decided who to give alms to (year round not just during Lent).

Scripture Study:

• Old Testament for me
• Lenten Cross reading for the kids - this is new to us, we've used Shower of Roses' Jesus Tree readings in the past

Pilgrimage: following the Filipino tradition of Visita Iglesia , we are finalizing the seven churches we plan to visit.

Screen time: - with reduced screen time (both tv and computer) we have a short list of what movies we like to watch.  I highly recommend the documentary Into Great Silence, it's not unusual for me to watch it a few times during Lent.  The kids highly recommend The Miracle Maker.

These are very simple plans having learned my lesson from many years of trying to do too much then beating myself for not sticking it out for 40 days.

Happy Lent planning!

ps - I am not getting compensation for any of these product links. 

Praise music, I won't miss you

If you listen to praise music you will appreciate this (funny) video - how to write a worship song in 5 minutes. After watching this, my kids realize why my ears need a break from it every so often.  They've also recognized the same 4 chords in most praise songs.  With a whole Bible to "plagiarize" your lyrics from, how hard can it be to write. Except for David Crowder, I think most worship bands out there sound exactly alike.  Nothing wrong about that but there's also nothing transcendent about it.  Off to listen to chant, I go, all Lent. Yippee!

*I am not a hater of praise music but I can only take it in small doses.  That's why I only have four praise folders on Spotify ;-)

Lent - Corporal and Spiritual Fasts

It's a week before Lent, I'm ready, I'm excited, I'm weird like that :-)

In an earlier post, I mentioned how quitting anything cold turkey is hard for me, even if it's just for 40 days.  When I decided to give up social networking (Facebook) for Lent I knew I can't just quit right at 11:59 pm on Shrove Tuesday.  By 12:01 am on Ash Wednesday I would be convulsing from Facebook withdrawal and by Thursday morning I would have fallen flat on my face and finding something else to give up. So this past week was a trial run of disengaging myself from Facebook. It went better than expected,  I didn't die.  The people who need to reach me know how to find me, everyone else will continue to live without my posts.  In fact, some might actually be happy about that ;-)

To make up for all the "extra" time now that I'm no longer updating my status, posting links or having an online argument with robots (just kidding, I know you people out there are real!) I have started studying/reading the Old Testament. I'm slowly soaking everything in and prayerfully pondering it, except for the genealogies and how long those people lived, I don't know how to ponder living up to 777 years old like Lamech!

But you know what, I am falling in love with God the Father.  Before this week I sort of understood Him but not in the same way I understood Christ or the Holy Spirit. Reading the Old Testament, however, wow, I'm knocked over, crying, laughing and recognizing this Father who was familiarly distant (by my own self-projection, of course!)  He really is "Abba" and not just "Master".  Before I drench my laptop with tears (of joy) let us move on...

During this social media fast experiment I have not once thought about anything else but myself and my relationship with God. Selfish, right? What I mean by that is I am not allowing myself to think of what "good" I'm missing out on, what prayer requests I am not hearing about, what conversations I'm not engaged in that need a dose of my "infinite wisdom".  But I am praying for all your intentions, it is all known to God even if it's not known to me.

One thing we give up every year that I won't miss is the praise music.  My children will probably go through withdrawal symptoms but chant should cure what ails them.  I have no problem with (most) praise music as long as they are outside of Mass.  I am thankful that there are good music out there that my children can safely listen to.  Those that border on the heretical is always an opportunity for catechesis. 

We are all still throwing ideas about what to do for a spiritual fast.  No promises of a blog entry about that.

A new thing that we are hoping to do this year is baking fasting bread for Fridays.  This is an idea we got from the book Lent and Easter in the Domestic Church.  Baking bread is enjoyable but the long process is a deterrent for me. However, in the spirit of Lent and a girl who loves to bake, we will do our very best.

We're also seriously pondering intentional almsgiving.  That requires a blog post in itself but let me just say we are re-thinking what/who we are giving alms to.

How is your Lent planning coming along?  One more week! are you ready?!

Daybook - Showing Up and Pushing Play

The world outside - a beautiful Winter's day with snow on the ground and more on the way.  Not so beautiful for those who have to navigate the slippery roads. Meanwhile, we are looking forward to playing outside.

I am pondering - the incomprehensible: God's gratuitous, immeasurable love and mercy.  I will elaborate below.

I am reading - the Old Testament. A verse that stuck with me, prior to the banishment of Adam and Eve from the garden: "The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them".  Pondering this brought tears to my eyes. That's how He has been to me, providing me with the garment (of salvation, love and mercy through the sacraments) despite the many falls I have freely chosen.

I am praying - for so many. There is so much to pray for out there, the lost, unloved, sorrowing, struggling, meaning-of-life seeking people waking up to a world without hope.

I am thankful - for everything! The joys, the trials, the lopsided balance sheet, the pile of laundry that requires heroic virtue to tackle.  All of these are temporary, all of these are opportunities for grace to say " I will serve" (unconditionally)

I am planning - for Lent.  My notebook is full of scribbles about Lent plans.  Nothing ambitious, just what worked for us in the past and a couple of new things to mix it up. Blog entry a comin' sometime this week.

I am looking forward to - the Valentine's day party with our homeschool group. As with all our activities, each year gets bigger and better.  Last year we went to a local ice skating rink, that was awesome.  This year we are going to a bounce place.  The kids are looking forward to making their valentines box and cards to exchange while I look forward to hanging out with my mama-friends, meeting new members and reconnecting with long lost friends.

I'm teaching - the usual, reading, 'riting, 'rithmetic and religion.  As we major in the latter that's where I find myself lecturing the longest. Today we discussed the sixth and ninth commandment, the seventh and tenth commandment (usury, bribes, breach of contract, reparation of damage to property).  Tomorrow we're discussing Social Justice (the real kind LOL) and Communism.  How to talk about that to kids ages 11, 8 and 9 calls for the wisdom of the Holy Spirit ;-) and a husband who is well-versed on these things.  As much as I get all the credit for homeschooling, my husband is really the brains in this family.  He is very smart man and I defer all the difficult lessons to him.

I'm feeling accomplished - chipping away at my Spring cleaning list, yippee!!!  It helps that my older three can be counted on to do their part. Nothing says cozy like a tidy home in the Winter.

I'm punishing myself exercising - it's the fourth week of P90x and I'm still alive!  It's all-cardio week, no lifting weights, push-ups/pull-ups, hurray!  There will be no before and after photos because that would just be too scary :-)  I don't weight myself, it is far too disheartening and they say muscle is heavier than fat anyway.  After three weeks there are noticeable changes (to me):  my clothes fit better, I can feel muscles that I haven't felt in so long, there's less flab flying around and I have more energy.  The only thing that hasn't changed is the whining (just ask my husband) : "I don't want to do this today" "what am I doing, why am I doing this to myself?", "can I just do this tomorrow?"  But to paraphrase Tony Horton, I keep showing up and I keep pushing play anyway, six days a week.

I am capturing moments - 

the very yummy birthday cake by the girl, despite the technical difficulties the taste was superb and the birthday brother was so pleased

cake!

she also played the Happy "Birthday song, is there anything this girl can't do?  :-)

the baby found the scrap socks bag: "this fits just right!" uh-huh, holes and all :-) he wore these socks all evening

the girl combines cursive and spelling, she can just do spelling all day if I let her

the garish valentines day chandelier decor but when your children do the decorating you don't re-do, so we'll just endure this and call it "sweet"

 *the spelling words are from this website: http://www.aaaspell.com/grade4.htm

February -Blues, Blahs and a Birthday

I have a love-hate relationship with February.  The Feast of the Presentation is a tough feast for us.  Seven years ago we lost our fourth child on that day.  One never really gets over losing a child, it gets better with each passing year but we are always acutely aware of that absence.  Even the older children feel this sense of loss despite not having seen their brother in person.  They were old enough to remember me being pregnant and the trauma/drama of that event.  I have written about this many times in my old blog so I will spare you (and myself) the sadness of the re-telling. 

Today is the feast of St. Blaise, also the birthday of our middle child. For his birthday he wanted to go to confession but alas, due to poor planning we didn't make it.  After Mass this morning he asked if he could do the 33 days preparation for total consecration which sort of caught me off guard (in a good way).  He wanted his own copy of the book so we picked up one from the Lighthouse Catholic Media stand in our parish.

My oldest, 11 years old, made his consecration last year (he has renewed it once).  I told the others that 10 is a good age to be consecrated but the middle child thinks he might want to do it this year.  He will be preparing with me (for my renewal) beginning on February 20th with consecration day falling on the Feast of the Annunciation. 

As I type this, our resident baker (the girl), is baking the birthday cake because the boy only likes home made cake.  That comment made the girl so happy because that was a statement of approval of her baking skills. She is very meticulous about this cake in making sure it is according to his wishes (what color sprinkles, what color icing, etc)

I'll post birthday photos later and a couple things we are working on for Lent.

Hope you are all keeping warm this cold February day.