Daybook - What Child Is This Edition

Outside my window - light flurries dancing about, baby it's cold outside!
All dressed up and nowhere to go - my new "yeti couture" boots (see photo below) super comfy, keeps my toes warm and it was a steal, the rest is my usual uniform of jeans, long-sleeved tee and a black hoodie
Our daily bread - it's meatless Friday so it's looking like a tuna casserole evening
All around me - a general tidy despite this mama being ill.  The hubby made sure he went back to work today (after a two days off) with a clean house for me to not slave over.  He is an amazing human being.
Food for thought - the necessity of faithful, prayerful friends/family. On my sickbed this week I could hardly pray and in that vulnerable moment my faith was really tested.  When no words or heavenly thought would come I just told the Lord to consider the merits of those praying for me in the way that He saw the faith of the friends of that paralyzed man lowered by his friends through the roof (Luke 5:17-26).  Pray for your friends!
Give thanks to the Lord for He is good - a successful cataract extraction surgery for our youngest.  It was found shortly after birth but the eye doc decided it was best to wait to get it out.  The waiting is done and over with, recovery is going well.
On Santa's "nice" list - coveting a Kindle Fire, a dutch oven, a hip necklace (I don't know exactly what that is but I want one) and a shiny snowflake brooch (my old one is tarnished).
On the crafting-challenged list - looking for an easy gingerbread house recipe, nothing fancy, no eggs of course and something that even little hands can make.
On the reading list - just finished reading the life of St. Jean Marie Vianney, he "followed" me everywhere this year so I finally capitulated .  What an amazing (and intimidating) life! Reading the lives of the saints really challenges me to live my own vocation heroically for the love of God. 
O Come, O Come Emmanuel - can't believe it's almost Gaudete Sunday.  There's nothing very Christmas-y in our house yet.  Our Advent wreath, Jesse Tree and outdoor lights are up but that's it, we've been too busy.  Hoping that we can at least have our Christmas dishes up by tomorrow.
Random snapshots - baby getting ready for surgery and my new "yeti couture" boots, I did say random shots right?

The Magic Prayer

Over coffee the other day, a friend told me she needs whatever "magic prayer" I have been praying. This, after telling her that the Lord has been so generous in answering my prayers left and right. I chuckled a little bit about the whole "magic" prayer.  For so long and for many moments in my life I've always wanted to be that miracle story, magic, if you will. There's a part of me that waited for God to answer my prayers in a mind-blowing way so the world will know God loves me and in a way, I will know that He loves me. Those prayers, as you can tell, were tinged with presumption and pride.  It was the kind of prayer that God did answer, at His own time, at His own terms and sadly, left me thank-less and wanting more.

You can say my relationship with God back then was like a kid in front of a vending machine. I put a quarter (prayer) in and expect candy (a positive answer) right away.  It took awhile for me to stop acting like a child and really figure out what prayer is and what the Lord wants to hear from me other than "gimme".  It also made me think of what I was asking and if it was not (possibly) contrary to God's will for my life.  And I know what is contrary to God's will for me, that which does not produce virtue. Even in the absence of virtue, He was not any less generous in His response, only that I was too blind to see it. So with this new insight I started praying for virtue more than the temporal (however pressing) needs of my life.  It occurred to me that every challenge, need, problems, hurdles, et cetera that this life has to offer is an opportunity to become closer to God. So I put aside those needs and asked the Lord for the virtues necessary to be closer to Him and to conquer the pressing details of my life. Seen in the light of faith, the perceived burdens do not chafe as much. 

The quest for virtue is difficult because it exposes the root of ones being and mine was/is nothing to be proud about.  I am able to laugh now at the audacity of which I have asked God in the past.  The presumption, the whole "I deserve it", I've done so many good things where's my reward type petitions. Oh and the many people who told me to "claim" it, as if I have any claim to God other than His mercy.  Even that is something I beg for.  

My prayer life is changing, the lists are still there, but at the very heart of it is the desire for virtue and a desire to establish a relationship with God under the banner of humility. The prayers that are being answered are not because I deserve it but because He is merciful and generous.