All I Want For Mother's Day - A Repost

 UPDATE: *There's been some confusion about this entry with people sending congratulations about my "pregnancy"  LOL. So let me say it again - this is a repost from 2010 when I was pregnant with my now almost three-year-old.

*Originally posted on my old blog on May 7, 2010

Is it awful that I am somewhat disinterested in Mother's Day this year? With all the blaring trumpets heralding this weekend's occasion, my brain automatically went into "ignore it" mode. Those of you who know me personally will be surprised at that. Blessed with motherhood as my eternal vocation, one would think I'd be the first to remind the planet to celebrate Me.

In my defense, it's been almost two years since my mom passed away.  Combine that with other "more important" celebrations this year - our 10th wedding anniversary, my 40th birthday, the impending birth of a new baby- Mother's Day is really low on my priority list. 

Despite my seeming disinterest, I have really been pondering motherhood for the last couple of weeks.  It all started with that annual thought-provoking question, "What do you want for Mother's Day?"  Year after year, when asked that question, my mind goes blank because at this stage in my life there is really nothing (at least materially) that I want, not even that elusive winning lottery ticket!

My little moments of pondering have brought me instead to a place where the question was "what was the best Mother's Day gift you've ever received?"  I thought about the years past, my life as a first-time mom, losing our 4th child, the many sleepless nights of worries over illnesses, scrapes and scratches, homeschool curricula and of course, a new baby this Summer.  But something would always bring me to thoughts not of MY motherhood but that of my mother's. 

She IS the best Mother's Day present I have been given!  From her, I have learned the importance of virtues, patience, long-suffering, striving for holiness, a complete submission of my own will for the good of others.  Don't get me wrong, I didn't always see my mother the way I see her now (hey, I was a know-it-all teenager once).  I was as privy to her perfections as to her faults (which we all have).  But the most striking imprint she left me with is how similar she is to so many saints whose life stories I have read.  It is not uncommon for me to read something on the saints and think "wow, that is exactly how my mother is" or "that's exactly what my mother would do or say!"  Slowly, the perfections of my mother overshadowed her faults (and I was also getting out of my teen-years lol).  Eventually it became my pride to say that when I grow up I want to be like my mother!  People either roll their eyes at me or think of me as really un-cool.  Isn't it funny how the world thinks of wanting to be like your mother as crazy?

And so with Mother's Day ahead of me, I am thinking of what it all means, to me, to my children, to my husband.  What does MY motherhood give to them? Are my perfections overshadowing my faults?  Will my daughter want to grow up and be like me?  Will my husband remember the great (and sometimes awful) cooking or the day(s) I didn't do laundry?  Will my boys remember how I try hard to like and understand sports? What will be indelible in their souls about my motherhood when I have passed on from this world to the next? 

It is my sincere hope that when memories of their mother begin to fade, they will remember one thing -for all my love of them, that their mother strives (and struggles) to live a life of joyful holiness.  That is what my mother gave to me that I hope to give to my children.

Happy Mother's Day!!!!

*my blogging niece writes about my mom here:  http://365dazeofivannah.wordpress.com/2013/04/12/family-ties/