When Time Is All You Have

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." - Gandalf

A couple of weeks ago our basement flooded after torrential rains.  A minor inconvenience it wasn't.  Things that couldn't be washed or salvaged had to be thrown out, none too valuable beyond sentiment, the kind you thank Mother Nature for making the decision for you to purge.  For the second time this year we had to rent a dumpster.

During a moment of utter exhaustion (and internal rage) after daily Mass, I told the Lord I didn't have time for that disaster. I had kids to school, a household to run, chores to catch up with and many other "necessary" things that I'd rather be doing than enduring the aftermath of a flood. After my litany of whine I allowed for Him to speak to me, He owes me an explanation after all!  In that moment of quiet I "heard" this response, "but what else do you have other than time? You came into this world with nothing but the GIFT of time." 

I was floored and humbled by the recognition of truth, of time squandered not only whining but in sloth.  I have allowed myself to believe that there is no time for disasters, only good things, only things that I have to do (not necessarily "want" to do, that is). Yet even in the doing of timely good things I silently complain about there not being enough time.   

My husband had an emergency angioplasty this past week. This was a routine doctor visit turned almost-nightmarish. He is recuperating while we stand in awe of the implications of this new life ahead of us. This episode has me considering even more the gift of time that I take so much for granted in the guise of a hurried existence. My time, as is my husband's, is borrowed.  How we choose to live that time is a lot to think and pray about. I have absolutely no doubt that no matter how long (or short) grace will abound and that's not something I intend to squander.