A Difficult Prayer

source

I'm a big fan of form prayers.  It is especially helpful to me on days when my mind is quick to be distracted resulting on disjointed prayers. One of my favorite apps to use for form prayers is Laudate.  Every so often I employ the search option for obscure prayers to add to my bookmark.  At one of these random searches I stumbled upon an interesting one called the Litany of Humility.  Now if there's a prayer I absolutely need this would be it! Without even looking at the words I proceeded to add it to my bookmark as part of my nightly prayers. That evening, after saying my usual devotions I opened the prayer and started saying the words. My entire being started protesting at the second line!  And as I went through each line of prayer the tension kept building. How can I not want to be loved, extolled, honored, praised...I'm only human!!!  I slowly went through the preceding lines and asked myself "is this something I really want? Can I still be truly joyful without the need for an ego boost?"  The answer I came up with was, realistically, NO...but I also understood that more than anything this prayer is asking for a life of complete freedom from self and a complete union with the humility of Christ.  How can I not want that?  

I still pray this every night.  I think I will be praying it for the rest of my life (because that's how long it will take to convert me!) I find that with every attempt I am learning more about myself at the same time gaining more insight into the humility of Christ on the Cross. If you are looking for a prayer to meditate upon I highly recommend this one. 

Here is the text of the prayer:

Litany Of Humility
O Jesus, meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being loved, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being extolled, Deliver me, O Jesus
From the desire of being honored, Deliver me, O Jesus
From the desire of being praised, Deliver me, O Jesus 
From the desire of being preferred to others, Deliver me, O Jesus
From the desire of being consulted, Deliver me, O Jesus
From the desire of being approved, Deliver me, O Jesus
From the fear of being humiliated, Deliver me, O Jesus
From the fear of being despised, Deliver me, O Jesus
From the fear of suffering rebukes, Deliver me, O Jesus
From the fear of being calumniated, Deliver me, O Jesus
From the fear of being forgotten, Deliver me, O Jesus
From the fear of being ridiculed, Deliver me, O Jesus
From the fear of being wronged, Deliver me, O Jesus
From the fear of being suspected, Deliver me, O Jesus

That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it
That others may be chosen and I set aside, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it
That others may be praised and I go unnoticed, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it
That others may be preferred to me in everything, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it
That others may become holier than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it
provided that I may become as holy as I should, Jesus grant me the grace to desire it

 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. - Philippians2:3