Grace in Grief

It seemed so long ago yet this time last week I was still in Vancouver with family and friends.  I don't know how to recover from the grief of losing my dad.  I feel a little lost.

I'm trying to get back into the groove of things, to bring some routine and normalcy to my days.  My efforts half-hearted with my days chores half-done as I sit in the chaos of moving furniture, books and various other trinkets around.  All to diminish the emptiness that haunts me. 

I'm trying to relish what's left of this summer yet also trying to plan for the school year.  How I wish the world would stop for a bit as I try to catch my breath to keep up.  And that's where the rub is, I don't know if there's any keeping up - with life, death and chores.

As debilitating as this grief has become there's also a ray of grace.  The kind that's freely lavished by this God who loves for the sake of loving.  I feel it everyday with every tear, every memory, every prayer, every quiet gaze at that Sacred Heart. When I think of those who have prayed and continue to do so, all is grace, indeed.

Many years ago I wrote that the best gift our parents gave us was the Faith.  In the end it is all that will matter.  Not fame, not fortune but faith.  The beauty of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass made this all the more clear to me.It made alive for me what it is to be part of the Communion of Saints and what it is to be a part of the Body of Christ.

I thank those of you who have written, emailed, called, brought gifts, offered consoling words and those who have prayed.

Here's some snapshots for those who are not on Facebook:

this was taken shortly after I arrived in Vancouver.  My sister flew in from Texas the week before.  My brother is the one who lives in Vancouver, he kept our grief in check :-)

 

at the Mass of Christian Burial

the rector also presided at my mom's funeral five years ago.  The cathedral was our home parish where I used to volunteer in the rectory answering the phones, etc.  We were all active in the Legion of Mary.

my brother, niece and nephew sang with the choir

this was taken after the Sunday Mass, I cannot begin to tell you the comfort of a big, faith-filled family.  Father D also comes from a big family, he is one of  10

On the next post, Vancouver in happier times :-)