To Bear Witness

Happy Back-To-School week! For so many of you school is already underway. Over here we're wringing every last bit of free time before we bury ourselves under books. Truth be told I am really buried under books and paperwork that need a home, either to store, donate or put in recycling. We typically don't start our school year until after Labor Day and how I need every one of these days to put plans, chores and life within some sort of coherence and order. Did I mention that on a whim I moved stuff around, took stuff out of their homes to re-organize and it's still sitting on the floor because I did not devise a plan on where to move everything?!

I've been in a sore mood for awhile. I've been trying to pin down the reason beyond the passing of my father. What really struck me with this soul-searching is that now I am THE parent. With my mom and dad now resting in peace I am no longer the child, I am THE parent. And how that heavily weighs on me in ways I cannot put into words. What does it mean to now be the parent?

As we prepare for going back to school, the Catechism in reinforcing the role of parents as primary educator of their children states: "They bear witness to this responsibility first by creating a home where tenderness, forgiveness, respect, fidelity, and disinterested service are the rule. The home is well suited for education in the virtues."

To bear witness. I had once written about this. The catch-22 of being a stay-at-home-home-educating parent is that our virtues and vices are displayed everyday in front of our children. Bearing witness to the responsibility of the virtuous life is an awesome task requiring an infinite supply of (divine) grace. We can't give what we do not have. We cannot teach our children what we do not have in ourselves.

The home is well-suited for education in the virtues. It is true first and foremost for me as parent. The challenge of having all my children at home has me pondering what virtues are required of me first so that I can effectively pass it on to them.

Speaking of which, the clutter strewn about me are calling my name. In an attempt to act virtuous I must clean house.