I've been asked many times the questions above. Between homeschooling three kids, entertaining a 3-year old, nursing an infant, meals to plan, laundry to tackle....how does it all get done????!!! My answers have been varied, from it doesn't ALL get done to God's grace alone. But no one seems to buy the idea that I do not in fact, have a SECRET weapon.
So now let me tell you my dear friends that the real secret behind my success is MY HUSBAND!!! (trumpet blasts and applause may now commence). As much as I would have you and myself believe that I am great and amazing, he is really the one who does the grunt work to make me look good. He is not above picking up the pieces of whatever destruction I leave behind
. He cooks when I can't or don't want to (shame on me!), fold and put away laundry when I'm on the verge of laundry mountain despair, bathe the kids when I am positively okay with stinky feet and grimy hair, get up in the middle of the night to soothe a sick child or a grumpy baby, listen patiently as I marvel him with my daily laments (drama is my middle name) and brings home surprises at the right time (like a soothing cup of caramel macchiato or a bottle of Absolut Citron or my favorite micro-brew). For those of you who ask how we get the kids to behave during Mass, it is because the rowdiest (and the baby) gets to sit with him. Sitting with mom is a reward for good behavior (he doesn't mind being the bad guy). If I wrote down everything he does for me, you will be bored to death if you aren't already.With the Church declaring this Sunday as World Marriage Day, it gave me cause to seriously ponder my marriage. But before I go on, let me rant that the following day is also the feast of the Roman martyr, St. Valentines, a feast that the secular world latched on to with much vulgarity and commercialism. End of Rant.
Getting back to the pondering of marriage - we've been married almost eleven years. I kid you not when I say I thought then that my husband is getting a good catch in me. After all, there I was - the most amazing thing that walked the earth - smart, independent, fairly successful in my own right and infinitely wise. The only thing that equaled my greatness was my overreaching humility
. Flash forward to ten years later, some of my greatness is somewhat diminished but I am definitely humbled being married to a man who truly answers his call - "- Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word,that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. So (also) husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. (Ephesians 5:26-28)
I mostly fail in fulfilling my end of the bargain, especially the part about being holy and without blemish? That part requires cooperation and I am not always a team player.
It is easy for me, as a stay-at-home mom to compare the drudgery of my days to the "exciting" life of my working husband. In the confines of his workplace, he is impervious to the whining, quarreling children (yes mine do that!) and the mounting responsibilities of my day. But then it occurred to me that NO ONE is breathing down my neck to get things done. I can corral the kids to their own rooms to get my peace and quiet. I can lay down when I am tired and I can choose to stop my work day as I see fit. I write the goals, I plan the days. In short, I AM THE BOSS and as such, I have in fact reached my life-long career goal!
At this realization, I was quite amused and yes, humbled. My pondering doesn't end today or this weekend or even on Valentine's day. The gifts my husband gives me need a never-ending memorial because when the chores pile up, the kids need bathing, dinner has to be cooked, lessons have to be taught, I need the humility to say I don't do it all.
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