From Vacation to Vocation

I am getting over a major post vacation-withdrawal issue.  Most of my 1.5 readership know by now that we are back from a 2-month vacation to the Philippines via Houston, Texas. It was a trip that certainly exceeded our expectations from how smoothly it all went to how blessed it was. Through the generosity of my sister and brother-in-law (and their children!) Lawrence and I were able to spend 10 days in the Philippines without the kids. Hubby was there for work for seven weeks, for those who haven't heard. I joined him on his fourth week there which was also his vacation week.

I am still pinching myself to this day, who but a generous God in His beneficence could give such a wonderful gift!? As much as I would like to write the details of this glorious vacation, my vocabulary fails to satisfy such a sublime experience.  For the sake of memory I hope to put everything in writing one day but for this blog entry we will deal with post-vacation stress syndrome

Vacation is not an easy thing for me to ease in and out of.  After all, I am the mother of a fairly large household and my nature is to control, manage and put things in it's proper order.  So allowing myself to do next to nothing, to have others take care of me and my children, to be pampered and be spoiled threw my OCD nature for a loop. There was a total mind-body disconnect.  Add to the equation that I was alone with my husband for 10 days.  Okay that was actually the sane and amazing part, he is my sanity-saver. But like I said, details later, drama part now

We knew we were coming home to a little bit of a rough patch. As we were rounding out the corner to our street, my husband gave the ominous "are you ready for this?" question.  A couple of weeks before our homecoming the one bathroom attached to the boys bedroom leaked (into the room and down the into the basement). The house was so musty that we had to sleep in the sunroom that night. Everywhere about me screamed "vacation is over sister!"  The following morning, as I was getting ready to run a load of laundry, we found out the washer is dead. In less than 24 hours my to-do list became so formidable (two months of undone chores, unpacking, back-to-school stuff, retreat planning, a benefit dinner, etc.) With my name written under all of it, I startled to buckle under pressure. Did I say it had been less than 24 hours that real life confronted me with a swift kick?

On the other hand my children were, for all intents and purposes, back to their normal life. They are playing with their friends again, laughing (crying and fighting) about the same things. As for mine, well, it couldn't get back to "normal" fast enough. My heart and mind seems to be straggling behind. It was stuck in the glorious light of vacation, the romance of being back to my native land with family and childhood friends.  In the interest of full disclosure, I go through this "I wanna go home" deal every so often. For those of you who are "transplants" from a foreign country, you know the feeling, there's no place like home. After twenty years of being gone, even I did not anticipate the kind of love I felt for my native land.  When my feet hit the ground I about lost it, home at last to the land of my birth, to it's warm and beautiful people, to it's beautiful language and delicious food!  And the bonus - home to the embrace of my husband who left 3 weeks earlier greeting me in the land of my birth.  God has a great sense of humor.

I'm lucky to call so many places home, just ask the amused customs people.  My travel documents include a Canadian passport and an American green card, I am the envy of many who can only dream of having one of both. As a typical Asian trait, we tend to assimilate well to new cultures and make any place our home.  Despite my legal credentials, my heart will not deny that it aches for the Philippines more than any other.  But before I start sobbing let's move on...

Fast-forwarding to the here and now: I'm slowly easing into my real life.  The truth of it all is that it is a good life and I just need to stop whining and get with the program. As I was hand-washing our clothes today it occurred to me that the happiest people in life are those that RESPOND, not just REACT. My misery was due to my reacting to the imagined chaos of my real life. Having more time to digest, plan and accept it all I realized that the proper attitude had to be a loving response.  To embrace once again the beauty of my life with all it's drudgery and monotony. It is easier to react with disdain, to be consumed in self-pity and to forget what is/was good. But the more noble thing is to respond to the gift of love that God first offered me.  It is undeniable as I look at my husband, my children, my family, my friends, these last 41 years, heck even just these last 2 months! - God loves me in a most incredible way (that I don't even deserve!) 

I am not saying I went from misery to ecstasy in two seconds flat at this realization. It is, however, helping me embrace the sacrificial beauty and nature of my life as I ease out of vacation into vocation mode.  Now off to tackle that to do list!