Go For The Grace

Prior to marriage and children I was discerning a monastic vocation.  I was young, in-love with Christ and confused, I mean the latter in a good way.  In the old country I discerned with the Poor Clares where one of the most enduring advice was given to me*

Fast forward to a couple of years later in Canada, I discerned with a group of women with no particular religious order in mind.  I became really good friends with a young girl (younger than me) who felt called to be a Benedictine nun.  We were in the Legion of Mary together.  She belonged to a different praesidium but every so often I attended their meetings then we would go out for coffee to chat.  She had the funniest stories about nuns she had met as she went on these vocation discernment retreats.  It really made alive  the faith for me and the joy that a monastic vocation seem to mask from the rest of the world.

One of my favorite stories is when she purposely skipped the Sacrament of Reconciliation one week.  The novice mistress walked up to her asking why she's not lining up at the confessional.  She said "Sister, I just went to Confession last week!".  Novice mistress, with a smile on her face then replied "good, go again anyway, go for the grace!"

Each time I get that lofty feeling of feigned holiness I remind myself of her story.  It is also a lesson in humility echoing the sentiment of St. Therese of Lisieux in recognition that "everything is grace" (Her Last Conversations p.57)

When my friend finally entered the Benedictines at the Abbey of St. Walburga, we said our sad goodbyes with a promise of prayers and letters as the abbey would allow. We've lost touch through the years, each of us settling into a life that we both discerned God willed for us.  I have absolutely no doubt that she is joyful in her life as I am in mine.  As I tremble at approaching the Sacrament of Reconciliation I recall that blessed friendship and those encouraging words - go for the grace!

*there is an entry on my old blog about this enduring advice story but for the life of me can't find it! I'll re-post when I find it.