"I in justice shall behold your face; on waking, I shall be content in your presence" - Psalm 17:15
When I first read the above Scripture passage what caught my attention was the part "on waking, I shall be content in your presence". Ignoring the after-life connotation, my first reaction was to laugh. I do not resemble this verse. My waking moments are not the idyllic quiet-open my Scripture-pray-meditate-leisurely sip my coffee in my jammies as the sun rises-praising the Lord in His grandeur kind of mornings. My reality is more like - wow it's 6:30-can I hit the snooze button one more time-oh did I iron the kid's uniforms-do they have lunch packed-what bills are due today-what kid is still throwing up-it's been three weeks since I washed the floors and we have people coming over-what's for dinner-ugh I can't afford to hit the snooze button-I am letting the planet down- scenario. Simply put, there is no time to be content in anybody's presence let alone God's.
As I was contemplating that passage (at night because my mornings is/was a no-man's land), it occurred to me that I have control over my priorities. Seek FIRST the kingdom. Is the kingdom my priority? What does that seeking look like in my life? You'd think by now (after a few hundred faith topics I've written) that this is no longer an issue I struggle with. But like the rest of humanity, I am a fallen human being, short on memory and no more than an infant in my attempts to walk in the faith.
One of the best counsel given to me with regards to priorities and the ability to be content in God's presence is to "break your routine" (thank you Father!) This is the anti-thesis of my life as a creature of habit. Routine is at the core of my life as mother and teacher in the same way that routine is at the core of (my) vices. So this counsel is naturally hard for me to put into practice. But I know change is due in my life so break the routine it is! Part of the exercise is to control my mornings by changing my nights. I noticed that when I go to bed full of stressful thoughts and worries it carries over into my waking hours. But if I give everything in prayer to God and really rest in Him, my mornings tend to be calm as well.
Another exercise is to control the noise with silence from within and without. I thought this was going to be a no-brainer. I have always been a lover of silence. As I gave myself deeper into the exercise I heard the deafening noise in my interior life. The competing noises of information we process in this age of technology is staggering. It is so easy to feel everybody's pain, anger, stress and to make it (or add it) to mine. Given enough time this can easily fester into feelings of despair and helplessness.
I'm still in the thick of this exercise so I cannot give you a happy ending. But I can testify to the joys of being content in God's mercy, providence and in His presence.
*this is Day 2 of Write31days series. My friends Nicole and Barb are also writing. Go visit!
*this is Day 2 of Write31days series. My friends Nicole and Barb are also writing. Go visit!
You were in my head when you wrote this! I was just telling a co-worker last week (my last week of work) that with social media it so hard to handle the constant bombardment of sadness and distressing news. Everyone shares a story of someone sick, someone dying, someone sinning...after a while it all becomes waaay too much. Back when I was a child, even all the way through college and when my children were little, there was only the news I could personally receive from those I knew. We digest about a thousand times more now, with social media, emails from school, volunteer and social groups. It IS silence we need...a lot more of it.
ReplyDeleteAnd everyone is angry at something or someone. I can't start my day on the internet, it affects the tone of my day. Prayer first and doses of silence in between.
Delete"Another exercise is to control the noise with silence from within and without."
ReplyDeleteThis! I'm fairly good at controlling the "without" (she says knocking on wood!!!) but the within.
(Of course I write all this not immune to the irony of being on the internet and commenting, etc. etc. LOL)
I think the silence and contemplation allows us to engage in a more thoughtful manner. Or sometimes we keep the silence and the world is all the better for it.
DeleteI think I should copy and print this out. Especially of late, whenever I do have a longer stretch of silence, there is so much internal noise. This is a good reminder to make room for silence.
ReplyDelete